Am I a Hoarder? (& the Freebie Community) | Neurospicy Black Girl

Everybody loves free things, however there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Listen as Alani describes the correlation of enjoying popups and possibly hoarding.

Sources mentioned:

ADHD and Hoarding

• https://www.additudemag.com/hoarding-disorder-why-people-hoard-adhd/

Clutterbug

• https://clutterbug.me/

Blackbird App

• https://www.blackbird.xyz/

Here are my socials: https://linktr.ee/neurospicyblackgirl

Buy me a coffee!: https://buymeacoffee.com/neurospicyblackgirl

Support the place that helped me produce the podcast!: https://bricartsmedia.org/

Music: https://pixabay.com/users/bodleasons-28047609/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=music&utm_content=223103

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Tags:
#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #podcast #adhdpodcast #adhdproblems #neurospicyblackgirl #blackneurodivergent

Transcript

0:00

Do you like free things? Of course you do. Why am I asking? In this economy, I would gladly accept any free gift or experience, especially in a city like New York. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, and this is prevalent if your neurodivergent condition tends to develop addictions. Yeah, I might be a freebie hoarder. Let's find out if this is a problem for this Neurospicy Black Girl. Hi, I'm Alani. I'm Black, female, and neurodivergent, aka I lost the genetic lottery. The only thing I could do is pull myself up by my bootstraps and live whatever life takes me. If anyone deserves to profit from my trauma, it's me. That's the life of a Neurospicy Black Girl. Welcome to Neurospicy Black Girl, the only place where you learn that people will try to dox your info and identity for cutting in line in order to get a free candle worth$70.(*sighs*) Yes, that actually happened.

I'm Alani and today we're going to expand on a topic that I briefly mentioned about: 1:11

popups. If you haven't listened to my "Friendships" episode, listen to it after this one. You might unintentionally forget about it. But anyway, going to free events in New York City really fires up the happy chemicals in my brain. The ability to get to enjoy luxuries without slaving your time and energy away is so super appealing. I started going to free popup events in New York City in the summer of 2022. It started when I was going through the dumps because I was unable to find work during the summer. My previous job was a seasonal position and I would return to work in the fall, but I had to go on unemployment to pay bills and unemployment was barely enough to survive on. Side note, I consider applying for emergency rent assistance, but then the interviewer asked me how I would be able to pay it back. Bruh, if I had the ability to pay the money back, I wouldn't be applying for the help in the first place. So that idea was a bust. After a session with my counselor, she suggested to find free events in the city to attend to. I searched on Instagram and found that the skincare company CeraVe was doing this event promoting their cleansers and dermatologist consultations. I went to the event, got my free cleanser and washcloth, and the rest was history. So it's been over two years now, but popups have been going on long before then. I have an acquaintance who does event promotions online and she says the freebie community has exploded after the pandemic. Yep, you heard right, the freebie community. As the name suggests, a community that discusses free events and experiences. It makes sense that popups have exploded after the pandemic. With such economic uncertainty and still multiple financial crisis going on, it's no wonder people want to go to events where you don't have to break the bank. I know in my case, these popups are the only time where I'm able to afford luxuries like skincare and makeup. Plus, these events give me the opportunity to showcase my videography and editing skills on my portfolio. I have made some acquaintances from attending these events. However, I noticed that the community has become, let's say, entitled. Remembering my intro about the doxing attempt over a $70 candle? Let me tell you what happened. The company Maison Margiela was having this popup promoting their fragrances, specifically their new, at the time, fragrance that smells like Parisian madeleines. I still have a sample of it. It smells good, making my big back ass hungry. But anyway, during this multi-day popup, if you're one of the first 200 people in line, you're gonna get a free candle of any scent. Knowing how crazy the line was gonna be, I made sure to arrive in line three hours early on the first day. The thing about these popups, people are dedicated to these things. They would save spots for their friends. Although, to be fair, I'm guilty of doing those things. But since I have no friends to do these things with, no more guilt! Also some people camp out during the early mornings. For example, the IKEA in Brooklyn had a popup where the first 100 people will get a tote bag. There were people in line since four in the morning. There were people even camping out in their cars in the parking garage. And do you know what was in the tote bag that people were camping out for? A small teddy bear, a small couch throw, and an eye mask if you complete a survey. I mean no hate towards the IKEA employees as the event was well organized. I can't believe people were literally camping out over a $3 teddy bear. Anyway, back to Maison Margiela. The candles are worth $70, so I kind of understand the hype over them. But man, people got feisty over this candle. I am in a Discord server of a freebie influencer and in the server, members update each other on popups that are happening and line updates in real time. Well, allegedly. Because now that barely happens. During the Maison Margiela popup, it was mainly complaints over people cutting in line or saving spots for their friends, which decreases chances of getting the candle. Mind you, this was a multi-day popup. So they had two other chances. But I digress. I was too far up in line to notice it happen, but apparently a lady brought a group of her friends in line, thus pushing many people away from getting the candle. The Discord server was popping. But for the wrong reasons. Many people were furious over the lady and the users in line wanted to confront her. One user was describing her appearance in line, and another user was going to take a picture of the woman and post it in the server so people can go and attack her. The mods had to put the chat on time out for the remainder of the day so no one can send messages. All of that over a candle. But like Marie Kondo once said, "I love mess." So I was figuratively eating popcorn over the drama. But that's not all the problems that have happened during the popups. Some people in the freebie community also got a stealing problem, and it's not limited to the items in the popup. So what happened was that there was this matcha place that was giving out free matchas through a partnership with Blackbird. To hook y'all up, Blackbird is this app where you can earn points and use those points to purchase food at participating restaurants. A lot of restaurants do free promotions through Blackbird, especially in New York City, so I recommend getting it. Anyway, they were doing the first 200 for a special waffle matcha thingy. In the cafe, there was an employee who was going through her menstruation cycle. She had a bag filled with pads and snacks for herself. The employee rested her belongings on a bench and went somewhere else in the cafe. Then a woman in a green jacket and silver headphones, that's how the cafe described her, ordered her drink and sat down on the bench and looked inside the bag. So she knows there is menstruation pads in there and such. She snatches the bag and exits the restaurant! I was so shocked when my influencer acquaintance was retelling me the whole story and showing screenshots. Now, I know that there may be some of you that might say, "Well, the employee shouldn't have left her bag unattended. It's New York, blah blah blah." I see the perspective and I would lean towards the perspective if the bag has something valuable or hard to replace like a wallet, keys, cell phone, etc. But there were pads and like an orange in the bag. You couldn't go buy some on Amazon or find them in another store or a bodega if you don't want to support Amazon? You really got inconvenience on another woman because you want more free stuff? Yeah, that's problematic. Getting free stuff can be fun. However, it can turn into a problem, especially depending on your neurospiciness. As the title of this episode suggests, we're also going to talk about hoarding. Now, as a disclaimer, I have not been officially diagnosed with a hoarding disorder nor am I a licensed professional. So please seek professional help as this is not intended to be medical advice.

Anyway, according to this ADDitude article, "What is Hoarding Disorder: 8:32

Defining Characteristics, Treatments, and ADHD Link." Hoarding is a "psychiatric diagnosis that develops from vulnerabilities, information processing problems, and beliefs about and attachments to possessions." A 2011 study in the journal, Depression and Anxiety, found high comorbidity rates for"major depression disorder followed by anxiety disorders like general anxiety and social anxiety, ADHD, OCD, and PTSD." Wow lots of acronyms. Now hoarding disorder and ADHD share traits such as weak organization, weak decluttering skills, and weak cognitive flexibility or the ability to adapt to changes in the environment. However, ADHD and hoarding disorder are distinct from each other. In the same ADDitude article, the main difference between an ADHD clutter problem and a hoarding clutter problem is that someone with a hoarding disorder has a reason for saving items. Whereas with an ADHD clutter, it happens unintentionally due to executive functioning issues. I'll leave the link to the article in the description. So my events promotion influencer acquaintance, wow that's a mouthful, has told me that the freebie community has attracted people with hoarding tendencies or I guess clutter is a better word since we're not qualified to diagnose people. She has said that there are people who tend to return to multi-day pop-ups to get more items. Some try to return on the same day. I can vouch for this statement because I've witnessed it first hand. For example, Charlotte Tilbury had this pop-up during Mother's Day weekend where they were promoting perfume based on emotions. There were multiple people from the free event Discord server who went back to the pop-up to get more samples for themselves. It got so bad that on the last day of the pop-up, which is when I went, they had to stamp the back of our hands so that they know you're already attended. Of course there's a possibility that someone can go to the bathroom and wash off the stamp, but how desperate you gotta be to get another product that you already have? Also, a lot of people who tend to do this got pretty recognizable features or clothing, so you gotta be the most plain Jane looking mofo in order to pull this off. Well the phrase, not the drag queen. Side note, apparently I've attended so many of these pop-ups that brand ambassadors have recognized me. It's nice to get noticed even if it's just to get a free thing. Anyway, I admit that I have a cluttering problem. I'm not sure if it's leaning towards hoarding per se, but I would say the pop-ups are definitely not helping. Growing up, my mom loves to throw out my stuff without giving me a proper chance to see if I need it. Ironically, she has a clutter problem too. But with spending on herself, especially clothes, she bought a lot of clothes, technology, home decor, and other stuff that she does not need and at expensive prices. Her reason is that she has to look good for people. You know, for someone who is allegedly confident in themselves, she really cares about what people think of her. But I digress. Back to my clutter, I always like to keep things with the thought that I'm going to use them later. Or, sometimes I just keep things and forget that I have it later on, ironically. I've always had an organization problem since childhood and whether it has improved or not is still up to debate. But to you who's listening, just know that clutter does not make you less of a person that you are. So there's nothing wrong with enjoying free pop-up events or getting free stuff. It's all about moderation. So I have three tips in dealing with clutter and with just getting stuff in general from pop-ups. The first one is with pop-ups, especially if you are part of the freebie community. Tip number one, know your limits. There are times where you just gotta say, "You know what? I'm not gonna do it." Here are mine to give you some examples. Scenario one, it's a spin the wheel one. I will be pissed if I wait three hours to go home with nothing. It has happened too many times, so I'm extra salty. Scenario two, if it's the first 50 or less, especially first 20. Like I said earlier, when you got people camping out at 4 a.m. at IKEA for a tiny bag, I'm not even gonna try. Meta had a pop-up where the first five people were gonna get free VR tech. Now you're just playing with people at this point. Scenario three kind of ties into the previous one. There are long ass wait times. I'm fine with one, maybe two hours, but if I gotta wait three plus extra hours on top of the hours, I wait in line because I came early. It's not worth it. I notice this happens to the big beauty brand pop-ups that do not have any RSVP system. They be having lines that circle the whole block. Yeah, I'm just gonna stay in the comfort of my room. Tip number two, there are different ways to organize clutter. Find one that works for you. I recommend the Clutterbug website that has helpful guides to show different methods based on personality. For me and many ADHD people, object permanence, aka the ability to recognize objects that exist when they are out of sight, is tough. What helps me out are clear storage bins and bags. If I see what's being put in the bag/bins, it helps me find things easier. It also doesn't take too much time for me to do either, so I'm conserving energy as well. Find out what works for you. Tip number three, donate or gift the items you forgot about. As long as the items are still in good condition, donate to a charity of your choice or re-gift them to your friends. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Although in my case, none of my stuff is trash. There's a reason why someone almost got doxxed for a $70 candle, you know? Thank you for listening to today's episode. Let me know if you want me to tell more pop-up stories. Because trust me, I got plenty. Be sure to follow me on Instagram @neurospicyblackgirlpodcast. You can financially support the podcast by buying me a coffee and check out the media Arts Center who has helped this podcast brick. Links are in the description. Remember, it's okay to be human. Do what feels best for you. To the next time where something new happens and it won't be boring. Bye![Music][Music][Music](upbeat music)